Book 5: Diomedes Being A Badass
Athena Intervenes
We now see Athena giving Diomedes strength and bravery, making him burn with a passion for war. Once he is infused with her magic, she guides the hero into the middle of the battle.
Immediately, these two Trojans in a chariot by the names of Phegus and Idaios — known for being skilled in all types of fighting — charge at Diomedes. Phegus fires at Diomedes first, however the weapon soars above Diomedes’ left shoulder. In retaliation, Diomedes fires his spear at Phegus and hits him straight in the chest. Phegus’ body goes limp over the side of the chariot, causing Idaios to lose control of the unstable vehicle. Luckily for the Trojan, Hephaestus comes to his aid to make sure he survives the questionable circumstance.
Seeing how smooth this was, Athena realises that Ares must have had something to do with this altercation. She goes to find him and suggests that they both cease fighting for a while to let the battle play out in the way that Zeus (and fate) intended. Ares does not say anything, but he does allow her to lead him away from the battlefield. The pair go to sit on the banks of the Skamandros river and watch.
Other Fighting On The Battle Field (Not Diomedes)
Cutting to the thick of battle, we see Agamemnon hurling this Trojan man (named Odios) from his chariot.
Meanwhile, Idomeneus sees Phaistos attempting to mount a chariot, and so stabs the Trojan in the shoulder. Idomeneus’ henchmen (the text is not explicit about who) strip Phaistos’ armour from his body to bring it back to the Greek camps.
Whilst this is happening, Menelaus kills Trojan Skamandrios by stabbing him with his spear as Skamadrios is running away. Menelaus gets him in the back, with the spear going clean through him.
Greek Meriones then kills Phereklos by throwing a spear at him, which goes through the guy’s bum and up into his bladder.
A Greek soldier named Meges then kills Pedaios by stabbing his spear up through the back of his head. The spear continues on under Pedaios’s tongue and comes out through his teeth. Homer details that Pedaios dies gripping the bronze spear in his teeth (grim).
Eurypylos then kills Hypsenor with a sword by chopping off the poor sod’s arm. He bleeds to death.
Diomedes In Battle & Aeneas’ Injury
Pandaros shoots an arrow at Diomedes, which goes straight through his right shoulder. Diomedes is speaking to Sthenelos when he gets hit, and Sthenelos hops off his chariot to pull the arrow out of Diomedes’ shoulder. Diomedes seemingly has no reaction to his new wound.
Diomedes prays to Athena and asks her to be by his side through the battle. He asks the goddess to aid him in killing Pandaros and says that if Athena was ever with his father, she will also be with him now.
Athena hears him and she comes to stand next to him, putting the strength of his father in him. She tells him that she has taken away the mortal mist in front of his eyes so that now he can see who is a god and who is a mortal on the battlefield. However, with great power comes great responsibility: Athena explicitly tells Diomedes NOT to fight any of the gods … unless it’s Aphrodite, in which case, he has full permission to go for it.
Diomedes runs off into battle again and is described as having his rage tripled by Athena’s enchantment. He kills Trojans Astynoos and Hyperion first, one with a spear and one with a sword. He leaves them dead on the ground and then moves on to two more Trojan men called Polyidos and Abas. Homer does not say how these two men died, but it’s just important that you know that they do. Then Diomedes goes to Xenthos and Thoon, and Diomedes kills them both. He then kills two of Priam’s sons, Echemmon and Chromios, who were together in a single chariot that Diomedes flips. He strips them of their armour and then gives the horses to his men to bring back to the Greek camps.
On the Trojan side, Aeneas sees Diomedes tearing up the battlefield and decides to do something about it. He goes to find Pandaros and asks him to focus his strength on trying to stop the son of Tydeus.
Pandaros tells Aeneas that he has already shot Diomedes and was certain he would die from the wound. However the Greek still manages to stand and fight. He shifts the topic of conversation to tell us how he got to Troy: his father had eleven chariots and all these nice horses to pull them, but Pandaros decided not to bring any of that equipment with him into battle. Since he didn’t bring any horses or chariots, he walked from his home all the way to the city of Troy, carrying only his bow with him. He finds a way to circle back this conversation to the matter at hand and tells Aeneas that he has drawn his bow on two men throughout the battle thus far, both of whom drew blood: Diomedes and Menelaus. Unfortunately, these attacks just made both of these Greeks more angry, rather than more … well, dead. Thus, he concludes by suggesting that bringing his bow to Troy must have been bad luck. Pandaros literally says that if he happens to make it home and back to his wife after the war, his head SHOULD be cut off if he hasn’t broken his stupid little bow with his own hands.
Aeneas pretty much tells him to shut up and get into his chariot because he thinks Pandaros should experience what Trojan horses can do. He falsely tells Pandaros that the horses will bring them safely back to the city once they’ve performed in battle (Pandaros is about to be killed and Aeneas will be saved by his mother, but Aeneas doesn’t know this). He ends this speech by allowing Pandaros to choose whether he wants to drive the chariot or stand in as the fighter. Pandaros chooses to grab his spear and fight Diomedes while Aeneas drives.
As the pair ride into battle in their chariot, Sthenelos turns to Diomedes to notify him that powerful soldiers are riding straight towards them. Sthenelos advises that Diomedes hang back rather than fight these men.
Diomedes tells Sthenelos not to encourage him to run away from a fight. Not only will Diomedes not listen to him, but also Athena will not let him shrink away from the fighting. He tells Sthenelos that when he goes in to kill these men, it’s Sthenelos’ job to get the horses from their chariot and bring them back to the Greek camps (these horses are apparently from some great strain of horse that Zeus granted to a man named Tros, and so they’re the finest of all horses).
From the chariot, Pandaros shouts at Diomedes (something along the lines of): “MY ARROW DIDN’T KILL YOU BUT I’LL TRY AGAIN NOW WITH MY SPEAR”. He then fires his spear, it hits Diomedes’ shield, and goes clean through it. Pandaros is thrilled by his great shot and has a mini celebration from the chariot.
Hearing Pandaros’ silly celebration, Diomedes informs him that he actually missed hitting him since the spear only cut through his armour. He warns both Pandaros and Aeneas that since both of them have picked a fight with him, neither will return home. Diomedes then throws his spear towards Pandaros and — with the help of Athena — it hits the famed archer in between the nose and the eye, right where the soft tissue is above the cheekbone. The spear must go in a downward fashion as it cuts through the face and goes through the teeth, the tongue, and out the jawbone. Aeneas jumps out of the chariot as Pandaros’ body falls to the ground.
Diomedes does not relent. Instead, he picks up this huge rock and chucks it at Aeneas, hitting him in the hip “cup socket” (where the hip bone meets the thigh). Aeneas’ leg shatters.
Aphrodite — goddess of love AND Aeneas’ mother — sees this and goes to save her son. She picks him up off the battlefield and turns to leave.
While all of this is happening, Sthenelos goes to get the horses which Aeneas had let go of. Sthenelos then hands them over to Deipylos so that he can bring them back to the Greek camp.
Aphrodite Gets Stabbed & Goes To Olympus
Remember that Diomedes doesn’t have the mortal mist in front of his eyes, and therefore can see that Aeneas’ saviour is the goddess Aphrodite. Also remember that Diomedes was given FULL PERMISSION by Athena to stab Aphrodite if he so wishes to. And so, Diomedes rides on his chariot towards Aphrodite. When he gets close enough, he stabs her in her hand with his spear.
Aphrodite lets out a shriek and drops Aeneas, but Apollo catches him in fear that a Greek would try and kill him if he were to land back on the ground. When Aphrodite goes to leave, Diomedes yells after her that she should stay out of war. He tells her to take the wound he gave her as a warning that if she returns to the plains of Troy, this (or worse) may happen again.
Aphrodite leaves in pain. Iris, the goddess of rainbows, sees her and decides to go and assist the goddess of love. Aphrodite’s skin is blood-stained from the stab wound (however, godly blood is gold and known as ichor).
Considering all the physical pain she currently feels, Aphrodite goes to find Ares (who is described as “violent Ares, sitting”). When she finds him sitting with his spear and his horses calmly near him, Aphrodite drops onto her knees and supplicates the god of war, asking if she can borrow his horses to get to Olympus.
Ares doesn’t verbally reply but does lend her his horses. Aphrodite and Iris get into the chariot and ride towards Olympus.
When they get there, Iris makes sure the horses are tied up and have their immortal horse food to regain their strength. Aphrodite finds her mother, Dione, and falls to her knees in front of her to explain how she has been hurt. In response, Dione pulls Aphrodite into a hug. The goddess of love tells her mother that it was Diomedes who stabbed her, and explains that he only got close to her because she was trying to save her son, Aeneas. Even though Aphrodite can accept that war brings injuries, she claims that the Greeks are crossing the line by fighting immortal deities.
Her mother has some … very real advice for her. Dione tells Aphrodite to get to grips with her reality because all the gods have had to endure similar situations with mortals. She uses Ares as an example, followed by Hera, and even Hades, to illustrate her point. Dione rounds off this speech by telling Aphrodite that it was Athena who drove Diomedes against her, saying that he is a fool because he doesn’t realise that a man who fights immortals does not live for long.
The scene pans out from Dione and Aphrodite, to where the reader is suddenly aware that all the gods are in the same room with them — including Athena and Hera. Athena now reminds us that Aphrodite physically moved a woman just because she loves the Trojans, and yet her only “thanks” from the humans is having her hand torn by another mortal’s spear.
Zeus smiles at Athena’s jibe, turns to Aphrodite and says (something along the lines of) “You’re not made for war, just focus on the secrets of marriage —” aka sex — “and leave the fighting to Athena and Ares”.
Cut back to the battlefield, and Diomedes is making his way towards Aeneas and Apollo. Three times he tried to advance on Aeneas, and three times Apollo batted him away. On the fourth time, Apollo screams at him to leave them alone. In response, Diomedes gives both the god and Aeneas a little bit of breathing room.
Apollo now takes Aeneas to Pergamos for safety. Artemis and Leto heal the son of Aphrodite.
While Aeneas is being healed, Apollo goes to Ares (who is still sitting in the same place, mind you) and asks if he can go and handle the psycho that is Diomedes. He explains that the son of Tydeus has stabbed Aphrodite and then came to charge at him, so now seems as good a time as any for Ares to sort this madman out.
Ares does not verbally reply to Apollo, however does rise and take his place on the battlefield. He takes on the form of a Thracian man called Akamas and urges on the Trojans to keep fighting.
More Non-Diomedes Fighting
Sarpedon appears in the crowd of Trojans as Ares/Akamas is getting everyone excited to fight, but Sarpedon uses this chance to verbally attack Hector. According to Sarpedon, Hector had previously said he could easily hold Troy with just him and his siblings as the defensive army, but Sarpedon can’t see any truth to these words. Instead, all Sarpedon sees on the front line are foreign soldiers like himself holding down the fort — those men who have left their families (he notes that he has a wife and a baby son back home) and their belongings behind. What’s worse is that now Hector isn’t even encouraging the army anymore! Other men like Akamas are forced to do so!! WHERE. IS. LEADER. HECTOR!?
Obviously, these words hurt the Trojan prince. He hops off of his chariot and takes over the cheerleader role from Ares/Akamas. All the men spill onto the battlefield and into the thick of battle (Ares remains alongside them).
As the soldiers are running into the attack, Aeneas (who is now good as new) is dropped into battle by Apollo.
On the Greek side, Agamemnon makes a speech to his men about how armies are only good if they look out for each other. Once he wraps this up, Big and Little Ajax, Odysseus, and Diomedes lead the Greeks out to meet the Trojans.
The first fight we zero in on sees Agamemnon kill Aeneas’ friend, Deikoon. Deikoon gets stabbed with a spear that goes through his shield and into his armour. At the same time, Aeneas kills two Greek soldiers called Orsilochos and Krethon (who are twins).
Seeing these two Greeks getting killed angers Menelaus, causing him to stride out onto the battlefield with all the rage of Ares burning inside him. Despite this rage, Homer does note that Menelaus hasn’t gotten too carried away; he is aware that Aeneas may kill him since he’s a VERY good fighter. But — have no fear! — Antilochus is close behind Menelaus, walking out with him to ensure that he is okay.
Menelaus and Aeneas gear up to fight, however Aeneas spots Antilochus standing close by. Aeneas weighs up his odds, realises that his aren’t so hot, and so decides not to engage in a 2 vs 1 altercation. The son of Aphrodite leaves, which allows Menelaus and Antiochus to grab Orsilochos and Krethon’s bodies unharmed and hand them off to other Greeks to safely bring back to camp. Menelaos then kills the Trojan Pylaimenes by stabbing him with a spear through the collarbone, while Antilochus kills Mydon (who was Pylaimenes’ charioteer). He does this by throwing a rock at Mydon’s elbow, which initially caused him to release the reins of the chariot, and then Antilochus finishes him off by stabbing Mydon in the temple.
Hector sees this altercation and runs over to help. Since Hector leaves his position alongside Ares, the god of war takes over leading the battalions along with the goddess, Enyo. Hector kills two Greeks by the name of Achialos and Menesthes, both of whom are in one chariot.
As Ares is running along the battlefield with his spear in hand, Diomedes can see that he is NOT Akamas like his disguise suggests, but instead is the god of war himself. The idea that the Trojans have him on their side makes Diomedes shudder in fear. He turns to tell the Greeks that although Hector may be a great fighter, they now have bigger fish to fry.
Big Ajax is near where Hector has just cut down Achialos and Menesthes. He feels bad for the pair and so walks out to protect their bodies from the Trojans, killing Amphios with his spear along the way. As Ajax goes to get Amphios’s armour, loads of Trojans begin to fire spears at him. Luckily, his shield catches many of them as he runs and Ajax even manages to get to the body to pull out his spear. Due to the Trojans advancing, he’s unable to remove any other armour.
Sarpedon!
Elsewhere on the battlefield, the Greek Tlepolemos now faces off with Sarpedon, son of Zeus. Tlepolemos feels like now is the time to talk about his father, Heracles, and tells the story of how Heracles once came to Troy himself. He finishes by saying that even though he has heard that Sarpedon is a strong man like his dad, he’s going to beat him up anyways.
Sarpedon then says that even though he has heard of Hercules’ great attack on Troy, it means nothing now. This is because Sarpedon plans to kill Tlepolemos! Muwahahahaha (the worst trash talk ever, honestly).
As they fight, the pair literally stab each other with their spears at the exact same time: Sarpedon stabs Tlepolemos in the throat and Tlepolemos stabs Sarpedon in his left thigh. Sarpedon’s injury is described as being so deep that it goes through to his bone, however he escapes death thanks to Zeus’s divine assistance. Tlepolemos, on the other hand, dies on the spot.
Sarpedon is immediately carried to the sidelines by his men. An interesting note here: the men did not remove the spear from his thigh before moving him, meaning that as he’s being taken away this huge spear is bobbing along out of his leg. While this is happening, the Greeks move in to carry Tlepolemos’ body back to their camps.
Odysseus had seen what happened between Tlepolemos and Sarpedon and now finds himself torn between what to do: should he finish off Sarpedon, or kill the many Trojans trying to help him? Homer tells us that it was not Odysseus’ destiny to kill Sarpedon, and so Athena places him on the path of going after the rest of the Trojan army. Odysseus kills seven people and may have killed many more if Hector had not seen him and gotten involved.
Before Hector returns to the thick of battle, Sarpedon calls out to him and says (something along the lines of) “Don’t leave me! Please protect me!!” He even screams that he has a baby back home whom he wishes to return to. However, Hector literally ignores him and just goes to find a Greek to fight. As Hector is walking away, Sarpedon has the spear pulled out of his thigh by his comrade Pelagon. He is described as momentarily dying, only to then come back to life (what an emotional rollercoaster of a line that was!)
Despite Ares fighting on the Trojan side (and the prior warning from Diomedes), the Greeks seem undeterred in battle. This bothers Ares, who now decides to go on a killing spree with Hector as his right-hand man. They kill Teuthras first, then Orestes (*not Agamemnon’s son, just a random guy with the same name), then Trechos and Oinomaos, followed by Helenos and Oresbios.
Seeing these killings ensue, Hera gets pissed. She and Athena go to get a chariot put together for Athena to take into battle (the chariot is assembled by the goddess Hebe). Athena then changes her outfit from the nice dress she’s currently wearing to her father’s war gear and gets into the chariot.
Hera flies off to find Zeus and asks if he’s mad that Ares is in battle. She further questions if that — because Ares is among the Trojans — Zeus would be mad if she and Athena go and help the Greeks fight him. Zeus tells Hera to go for it because if anyone’s going to cause Ares pain in war, it’s going to be Athena. Hera trots off to tell Athena they have permission to enter the battle.
The dynamic goddess duo go down to stand with the Greek army. Hera yells at them and says that if Achilles was fighting he would have NEVER let the Trojans get so close to the Greek ships. This pep talk does the trick and sends the Greeks into action.
While all the men are getting their blood pumping for war, Athena goes to stand with Diomedes, who is tending to the stupid wound Pandaros gave him earlier. She gives him this speech about how cool his dad was and how Diomedes is not living up to Tydeus’ great legacy.
Diomedes is a little taken aback by this, telling the goddess that he is simply following HER orders. After all, she’s the one who told him not to fight the immortals unless it was Aphrodite. He can see that the god among the Trojans is Ares, and therefore he can’t engage with him based on Athena’s guidance.
Athena stops what she’s doing, takes a moment to think, and then says (something along the lines of) “I remember I said that … but I’m changing my mind”. She informs him that she will be with him on the battlefield and even calls Ares “two-faced” because apparently prior to this, he had said he would fight alongside the Greeks BUT NOW FIGHTS FOR THE TROJANS. She finishes her speech by walking over to Diomedes’ chariot and pulls Sthenelos out of his position so that she can replace him. She and Diomedes go off into the thick of battle, heading straight for Ares.
Ares Gets Stabbed
As Athena and Diomedes approach, Ares/Akamas is stripping the armour off of a fallen Greek soldier.
When Ares turns to see Diomedes, he stops what he’s doing and charges straight towards him. Ares tries to throw a spear at the son of Tydeus, but Athena redirects it towards another target. She then aids Diomedes in guiding his spear into Ares’ belly — and it’s a success. Ares is hit!!!
Ares lets out a cry of NINE THOUSAND MEN upon getting stabbed (a bit overly dramatic even for a god, no?)
Given that Ares has been stabbed by a mere mortal, he goes up to Olympus and cries to his father, Zeus. He says something along the lines of “Daaaaddddd look at all the blood!” Ares claims that Zeus has a “manic” daughter in Athena, says that the rest of them are submissive to him apart from her and yet he does nothing to discipline her at all. Therefore YES, THIS WOUND MUST BE ZEUS’S FAULT. Ares informs Zeus that it’s Athena in the chariot with Diomedes and that she also told Diomedes that he was allowed to harm Aphrodite (snitch).
Zeus then speaks. He HILARIOUSLY tells his son not to come crying to him as Ares is a two-faced liar anyways. The king of the gods says that Ares is the worst of the Olympians as quarrelling is always in his heart, however does note that Hera’s anger is out of hand, too. He concludes this monologue by stating that despite all of this, Ares is his son and he doesn’t wish to see him in pain.
Paieon is then brought in to heal Ares’ wound. Following this, Hebe washes Ares and gives him new clothes, after which Ares goes to sit beside Zeus like a child who has been told off.
The book ends with Hera and Athena coming back to Olympus because their mission is now accomplished of stopping Ares on his murderous track.
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Thumbnail Image: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/248593
Marble head and torso of Athena. Roman 1st–2nd century CE.
On view at The Met Fifth Avenue in Gallery 159
“The goddess Athena is rendered as a beautiful young woman. The lining of her helmet—which was pushed up on the top of her head—appears above her hair. The protective aegis (goatskin) with the Gorgon's head in the center is reduced to a kind of collar that permits the torso and garment to be articulated. The original Greek work was probably executed in bronze.” (Copied from the Met Museum website).