Book 21: The gods fight each other, Achilles fights a (literal) river
Achilles Continues to kill loads of people …
Achilles pushes the Trojans back to the river Xanthos. Once there, Hera covers half the mens eyes with a divine mist to keep them in place, while the other half tumble into the river and attempt to swim away from Achilles.
Unfortunately for them, Achilles leaves his spear on the bank and jumps into the river with his sword to attack. He is described as moving in a circular motion to kill the men nearest to him, slicing them all up so that the river’s waters become red around them.
Slight aside, but remember when Achilles said he wanted to kill a bunch of Trojan youths to avenge Patroclus? Well, he was serious about that, and in the river he finds his 12 young men. He rallies them up, binds their wrists with leather straps from the men’s own belts and then hands them off to his companions to be brought back to the ships. Once that’s handled, he then turns back to the fighting.
The first man he comes into contact with is Priam’s son, Lykaon. Homer explains that the pair have history, but Achilles cares very little about this. Lykaon attempts to beg Achilles to spare his life, going through his lineage and explaining that he and Hector — although siblings — are not born of the same womb. This is important because if Achilles is trying to vent his anger about Patroclus, killing Lykaon won’t help the situation since Achilles is really out to get Hector.
As we can predict, Achilles says (something like) “Don’t you see the kind of man I am?? How big I am?? How GODLY I am???” He then strikes Lykaon with his sword right in the neck at the collarbone and Lykaon dies.
But leaving bodies on the ground is not enough for Achilles anymore. He picks up Lykaon by the foot and throws him into the river, saying “NOW YOU LIE WITH THE FISHIES!!!” (not an exact quote*).
Achilles then goes up against a Trojan called Asteropaios (who is also the son of a river, but not this river), and Xanthos inspires valour in this man’s heart because of all the bloodshed Achilles has caused. Achilles asks Asteropaios who he is, and the guy replies explaining his whole family backstory and, at the end of which, challenges Achilles to a fight.
When Achilles raises his hand to throw his spear, Asteropaios beats him to it and chucks BOTH his spears at Achilles at the same time because he’s ambidextrous!! Smart to leave out that detail in the family history! One of the spears hits Achilles’ shield but doesn’t break through, but the other hits Achilles on his right forearm, grazing his arm. In retaliation, Achilles throws his spear but misses his opponent. As Asteropaios is struggling to pull Achilles’ spear out from the riverbank, Achilles pulls his sword out stabs him in the belly near the navel. His guts pour out onto the ground and he dies.
Achilles strips the guy of his armour, pulls his spear from the river and then throws Asteropaios in the river so the eels and other fish could nibble at the fat by his kidneys.
When Asteropaios’ men saw him go down, they panic. Now Achilles goes after them, killing Thersilochos, Ainios, Mydon, Mnesos, Thrasios, Astypylos, Ophelestes. He would have killed more too, but Xanthos GETS MAD.
Achilles Fights a River
Xanthos takes on a mortal likeness and says (something like) “HEY ACHILLES — STOP THROWING DEAD BODIES INTO THE RIVER. CAN’T YOU SEE IT’S CLOGGED!?” He goes on to suggests that Achilles puts the bodies on the plain instead, which is actually a very mature POV from a deity. Achilles replies and says that he’s willing to meet Xanthos half way, but he won’t stop killing Trojans until he kills Hector OR Hector kills him.
Achilles then leaps into the river and Xanthos starts rousing the current to push all of the dead bodies out onto the bank (why he didn’t do this before will always be lost on me).
Xanthos creates a huge wave to beat against Achilles and his shield. Considering Achilles is in a body of water, he could not stabilise himself with his feet and so instead clings to the branch of an Elm Tree. Unfortunately, he and the current are so strong that the tree gets uprooted and pulled over into the river. Realising he has no way of fighting this from the inside, Achilles climbs out of the water and runs across the plain.
But — muwa ha ha ha — Xanthos won’t allow this! As Achilles runs at great speed (so fast that the bronze armour on his chest “crashed terribly” against him) the river comes speeding after him. Xanthos literally swirls his waters around Achilles and every time the hero tries to turn around to fight, a huge wave would crash onto him from above.
Tired, Achilles calls up to Zeus. He says no god can save him now from the psycho that is Xanthos, and he blames his mother for lying to him about dying with great glory in Troy. He wishes Hector had killed him because at least Hector is a great man, but now he is destined to be killed by LITERAL RIVER WATER.
Hearing this, Poseidon and Athena take on the likeness of mortals and go to stand by Achilles. Poseidon tells him that Zeus has given him and Athena permission to stand and help because it’s not his fate to be killed in this way. However, he does inform Achilles that he cannot not fight — he must continue to push on until the Trojans have been pinned back inside their walls. Only when Achilles has done that and killed Hector will the gods grant him glory. Before the gods leave, Athena put great strength in his legs to continue pushing on. Once that’s done, then the gods leave.
Encouraged, Achilles goes towards the enraged Xanthos. The river yells to his other river friend, Simoeis, and asks for help in destroying Achilles. He tells Simoeis to build up his currents and rouse up his torrents to fight the great hero, since this is the only way the pair will be able to defeat him. Xanthos then describes in detail how excited he is to kill Achilles, stating that he desires to hold Achilles’ body underwater and drown him so that the Greeks won’t know where to find the body. This makes the river giddy as with this kind of death, the mortals will have no need for a funeral (*insert evil devil smiling emoji here).
The excitement gets the better of him and Xanthos rises against Achilles. He gathers a wave so big to capture the son of Peleus in, but Hera sees this and yells out to Hephaestus for help. She instructs him to set the trees on the bank of the river alight and burn Xanthos, only stopping when she tells him to. While he does that, she’s going to raise a storm from the sea.
And so, the pair disperse to do their various duties and save Achilles. Hephaestus goes to set fire to all the corpses slain by Achilles and then burns the surrounding trees — elms, willows, tamarisks etc. The eels and fish start to get uncomfortable in the heat and attempt to escape the blaze by jumping out of the water.
Xanthos’ strength begins to dwindle due to the raging flames — I mean, he is bubbling and boiling uncontrollably. He calls out to Hephaestus and begs for him to relinquish the fire, saying (something along the lines of) “If you leave this attack, I swear to let Achilles capture the city of Troy!! I don’t really have anything to do with this fight anyways SO PLEASE MAKE THIS STOP”.
When this doesn’t work, Xanthos yells out to Hera and says “WHY IS YOUR SON ASSAULTING ME!?” (not an exact quote*). He continues, saying he’s done nothing more to her than any of the other gods who are siding with the Trojans. He says he’ll stop fighting as long as Hephaestus does, and swears he will not defend the Trojans ever again — not even on the day when the Greeks will, inevitably, take Troy.
Hearing this, Hera turns to Hephaestus and tells him to stop the fire as it’s not fair of them to destroy an immortal god over a mortal fight. Hephaestus puts the fires out, and the river calms.
The gods fight each other
Cut to the gods, and Ares rises up against Athena with a spear in his hand. He says (something like) “Remember that time you got Diomedes to stab me? WELL NOW IS PAYBACK TIME!” Ares throws his spear against Athena’s aegis (a shield which won’t even give way to Zeus’ lightning bolt, mind you, so why Ares assumes this is a good idea is beyond me). As Ares stabs the shield, Athena takes up a rock — this huge, centuries old rock — and throws it at Ares’ neck. His armour clashes at the impact and he falls to the ground.
Athena stands over Ares, laughing. She tells him that he deserves it and to remember this as an example of how much stronger than him she is.
As Athena turns to leave, Aphrodite comes in to take Ares’ hand and lead him away. His strength isn’t totally returned though, so he groans in the process.
Unluckily for them, Hera notices and flags Athena’s attention. She yells at her to go after Aphrodite since she’s attempting to lead Ares out of battle. And so, Athena turns on her heels and catches up with Aphrodite. To stop the goddess in her tracks — and I’m so glad I’m not making this up — Athena punches her in the boob. Aphrodite is so shocked that her knees go slack and she falls over, pulling Ares down with her. Athena stands above the pair and threatens to do the same to any other deity attempting to help the Trojans. At this, Hera smiles.
Cut to Poseidon, and he now faces off with Apollo. Poseidon opens with (something like) “Why are we standing apart when everyone else is fighting? It’s shameful if we return to Olympus without fighting. Since you’re younger, you should throw the first punch as it would be wrong if I did”. He tells the story of when both of them had come to Troy many years prior and were servants to Laomedon for a year. Poseidon states that this is when he had built a wall for the Trojans so strong that no one could break into their city, and Apollo had gathered cattle around Ida for them to feast. But when they were due to be paid, Laomedon didn’t keep his promise and instead sent them away with threats of violence. It’s because of this that Poseidon doesn’t understand why Apollo is siding with the Trojans since their ancestors had been so rude.
Instead of giving us a nice, lengthy response, Apollo just tells Poseidon he’s not fighting him. Not only does he not want to fight the god of the sea anyways, but he certainly has no intention of fighting him over a few mortals. With that, Apollo turns away.
Lurking in the background is Apollo’s twin sister Artemis, and she is LIVID that her brother has turned down a fight. She says that by not even humouring the fight, Apollo has given Poseidon the victory. Artemis explains that Apollo has a bit of a history of saying he is a worthy opponent for Poseidon, but given that he had the chance and refused to take it, Artemis states she has zero interest in hearing such talk in the future. In reply, Apollo says nothing.
Hera hears this, basically says “f*** you” and then takes both of Artemis’ wrists in one hand, seizes her bow with the other and whacks her on either side of her head with it. Artemis runs off crying.
As all of this is happening, Hermes meets Leto (the twins’ mother) to have their own one-on-one fight. However, unlike the other gods, Hermes announces he will not be fighting Leto since she was a bride of Zeus. Leto doesn’t reply, but instead picks up the discarded bow and arrows to return them to Artemis.
Meanwhile, a beaten Artemis has gone to Olympus and we now see her kneeling before Zeus. The king of the gods hugs her against him and laughs softly, asking who did this to her. Artemis tells him that it was his wife, Hera, who hit her.
The rest of the gods returned to Olympus in anger and all sit by Zeus. All except Apollo …
Apollo Gets involved
We now cut back to Apollo who is entering the city of Troy. He is motivated by his fear that the Greek forces will take the city before they are fated to, and so wants to get stuck into the action.
Priam, king of Troy, now takes his place on a “god-built bastion” and watches the battlefield. He can see Achilles cutting down the Trojans at an alarming pace, and so climbs down from his seat to order the guards to open the city gates. He states that the men running from Achilles need to find their way back to the city, but once they are inside the walls, the gates must be closed immediately. This is because Priam is terrified that swift-footed Achilles will slip in among them, putting the Trojan people at risk.
The guards do as they’re told and open the gates. Apollo disguises himself among the men, springing forward so that he could fend off destruction from the Trojans. Seeing the gates open, the Trojans on the battlefield flee towards safety. Achilles follows them with his spear in hand.
Homer tells us that this is the moment the Greeks could have taken Troy prematurely, had not Apollo sent out Agenor. Apollo drives courage into this mortal’s heart and remains next to him for protection.
When Agenor is aware that Achilles is close by, he says (something like) “If I run from Achilles like others have done before, he’ll catch me and cut my throat like a coward. Alternatively, if I run to Ida I can take cover in the undergrowth there, returning to Troy when it’s safe to do so. But why am I debating this? If I face Achilles, I have a good chance of killing him since he is just a mortal. Only Zeus is granting him glory for now.”
And so, like the hero he is, Agenor waits for Achilles, unwilling to run away. He stands with his shield in front of him and his spear pointing in Achilles’ direction. Agenor shouts to Achilles that he bet Achilles wishes to storm Troy, but there are many men who are willing to stand and fight for their city, wives, and children. Agenor throws his spear at Achilles and it hits him in the tin greave but doesn’t go all the way through — instead it ricochets off and falls to the ground. Achilles lunges at Agenor, and this is when Apollo decides to step in. The god catches Agenor in a divine mist and sends him out of battle. HOWEVER, Apollo takes on Agenor’s form to replace him in font of Achilles, as a way to distract the hero. The mist is dissolves and left facing Achilles is Apollo/Agenor.
Apollo turns and runs in a bid to distract Achilles from the open gates of Troy. While Achilles chases “Agenor”, the other trojans have enough time to safely return to the city. Homer tells us that these men didn’t turn back to see who had survived or died — they were only concerned with getting inside.
Watch Here:
Listen Here: